An Apology to My Suitcase [As Occasioned by Our Recent Vacation]

My dear suitcase,

I am deeply sorry that we must part, but the debilitating effects of your last flights make it impossible for us to travel together any longer. I understand that you had no control over the TSA inspector, or whoever it was that shredded not only the protective covering of the ends of the inner zippers that provide closure and containment, but ripped the zippers from their anchor points. Nor was it your fault that the handlers amputated the supposedly indestructible rest studs so that you always tipped over when placed on your side.

Nor could you do anything about the tracked behemoth that left black scars on your once shining gray surface and inflicted that last mortal wound to both your pride and your structural integrity. I can remember when we first met in New York, and the saleswoman assured me that you would be the last piece of luggage I would ever need. And for two years, that was indeed true, but your mortal enemies – indifferent baggage handlers and automated conveyor systems – have taken their toll on you.

Yes, you have given me the best years of your life, three long years of enduring scrapes, bruises, continual pressure changes, temperature variations, sitting on baggage carts in rain and snow while baggage handlers ignored your plight, selflessly maintaining as much water-tightness as possible, wielding off slush and snow, stoically enduring the blazing heat of the Saint George airport or the winter chill of the Cedar City airport. You have endured delays and misroutings, gouges, grooves, bruises, and more, far more than you ever bargained for when you first traveled with me, shimmering gray and proud.

You have borne it all without complaint, and I can only hope that your spirit will find peace in some other dimension where faithful luggage is rewarded for selfless service.

6 thoughts on “An Apology to My Suitcase [As Occasioned by Our Recent Vacation]”

  1. Dan Cody says:

    Lol, that was great.

  2. JakeB says:

    Without any offense intended, I have to say that ” . . . far more than you ever bargained for when you first traveled with me, shimmering gray and proud.” might be the best line you’ve ever written.

  3. That was excellent. I am hoping that your luggage will be given a place of honor somewhere in your house, where it may gaze upon you and remember the proud days of its youth.

  4. Trish Henry says:

    Maybe it will be reborn as another suitcase. A Darth Vader one from Disney. You never know…

  5. sarf says:

    Hopefully your luggage is reborn as a nobler version of itself, perhaps even reaching the level of the Luggage of Pratchett.

    I can only salute your luggage, and wish its long and difficult service will yield it a better afterlife.

    1. Jon Moss says:

      I had the exact same thought. An excellent eulogy for your luggage and a damning editorial of current quality control when your luggage leaves your sight.

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